Healing

Thank you for all the kind comments on my previous post.

Physically, things have improved greatly over the last week. Had my surgery on Monday and everything went as well as it could have.

Spent the week working from home so I could rest when I needed to but at the same time not have to use all my personal time being miserable.

Emotionally, I'm getting there. I think overall I'm doing better than could have been expected.

devastated

Yesterday was the worst day of my life (so far and I hope, hope, hope for a lifetime). I have a medical issue that shattered my world both physically and emotionally (I don't want to get into specifics for a number of reasons). The good news is that it's not permanent or life threatening and I will eventually be okay. Things are going to suck physically for about a week or so and emotionally for well... as long as it takes I guess.

The toughest thing for me right now is that talking is the worst. I just can't do it, and as a psychologist I know this freaks everyone around me out. Even thinking about talking to other people makes my eyes fill with tears and frankly I've cried enough in the last 24 hours to leave my eyes swollen, skin raw and my head pounding. I'm not sure I can take much more of it so I've been avoiding talking to everyone.

Even my husband who really is a comfort right now, I can't talk to. I thought I was okay this AM given that I actually slept rather well last night despite my concerns that I would not. Then the minute I started to speak to him I fell apart. I sent him out for the morning so that I could just feel more composed.

So I'm going to be quiet for a while, maybe after the physical issues are dealt with the emotional distress will ease a bit as well. I hope everyone understands, I know I have their love and support and that really is a comfort to me, right now I just don't have a voice to express it.