Advisors

Today was a strange day for me in terms of interactions with former (and therefore probably current) advisors.

First- I got feedback on my diss manuscript from my Grad advisor (GA) who told me to take their name off the manuscript. Before you think it's because they think the manuscript is shit, I should tell you that the feedback is actually very positive. They said they felt like this project (being my dissertation and not at all really related to other stuff they do) was/is my baby and I should be sole author on it. So I'll thank GA in the acknowledgements but take them off the paper. Now let's hope it gets published when I submit it. I'm thinking I'll go back to working on this manuscript this weekend rather than FYM, I am really anxious to get it submitted.

Second- I had a meeting with Post Doc Mentor (PDM) tonight about the projects that I was involved in and want to continue working on. PDM was going on about how they missed me and quickly it became clear to me why-- they've made no progress on these two major projects since I left. And the lab manager doesn't even know where to start because she's so overwhelmed with new projects that she hasn't even had time to go through all the notes and directions I left her with. Basically, I have to pick up where I left off if I want to move these projects forward, and I do want to move them forward. I'm a little disappointed that some important follow up was not done, it probably resulted in quite a bit of missing data. But at the same time I can totally see how it happened. PDM was out of the lab for a full month after I left and the lab manager only started about a month before I left. Without me there to take the lead, things feel through the cracks.

Also, while I was there lab manager was asking me a bunch of questions and then when I went into the lab area a new grad student (that I know from when I worked there) was asking my advice about her lab protocol. Um... I don't work here anymore. I have to admit that my brain felt really fuzzy when I was there. I haven't really thought about this work for 2 months and there is this bad vibe around my post doc experience so I feel off when I'm there.

In the end, both of them left me with a bunch of work and none of it associated with ANJ. So much for feeling disconnected from my subfield.

I'm pretty sure I'm not wanted...

So I was thinking today that I'm pretty sure my mentor should have heard about one of the grants that she listed me on. If she didn't get it, I don't see why she wouldn't tell me that we struck out again.

But.. I'm starting to wonder if she did get it and is hoping another job will come through for me so she doesn't have to give it to me.
1. Because we have a weird relationship and I'm not sure she's 100% happy with me even though I try to do exactly what she wants and
2. Her lab is already so tight on space, if I were to leave it would make things easier with the new post doc and grad students coming in.

I guess the other option is that she heard but the funding score is borderline so she doesn't want to get my hopes up until she knows for sure whether it will be funded or not. I hate feeling not wanted and yes, this could be paranoia... but you know how sometimes you just know something isn't quite right. That's how I feel right now.