Down to the wire

This is 2nd in the list of posts that I've had sitting in my drafts folder waiting to be written.

Last week I worked 15 hours in one day to get something written before a major, non-negotiable deadline because someone else decided (that morning) that what I had originally proposed was not what they wanted but that I had to turn in something completely new (and is not my area of expertise) by the deadline. To say that I was (and maybe still am) resentful and pissed off is an understatement.

I know that some people work well under pressure (or claim to anyway) or wait until the last minute because that is just their way. I know that sometimes things take much longer than expected and that's just the way it is and so one must work until the deadline because there is no other choice.

I am not one of those people and I avoid situations that put me in that position as much as humanly possible. Close to the deadline (as in 4 minutes prior) I was shaking, my heart was palpitating and really I just wanted to say screw it. But I had worked so hard all day that I couldn't just not do it. So I finished up what I was writing and submitted it at the exact deadline!

That night I didn't get to sleep until after 3am because I was so keyed up and the next day I was useless because exhaustion from the stress and late night the day before set in. I would never put myself in this situation so I found myself wondering why the hell I would let other people do this to me??

I've let me supervisors know how much I hated that experience and that it's not something I can really do again but they are not the one's who set up that situation to begin with so I don't think they'll have a tremendous amount of control over it happening again. So I guess what I'm saying is that ANJ isn't quite as awesome as I thought it would be and that if these sort of situations become a norm then I won't be here for long, which makes me sad.