It hit me tonight, out of the blue... I'm depressed.
You may be wondering why it would take a psychologist so long to notice and why it came as a surprise but... I'm not that kind of psychologist and whenever this happens it always takes me by surprise.
I have been eating terribly- comfort food dictates my life; pizza, pasta, coffee and bagel for breakfast every morning....anything bad for me, haven't exercised in so long I actually forget when the last time was, no energy to do anything (including cook dinner) when I get home, all I want to do is sleep, I've had a headache every day this week, I'm irritable and want to cry because my DH went out for drinks with 2 of his buddies (this is SO not me, usually I relish a night alone with a good book and nobody to interrupt me).
I've been working really hard (way too hard for summer), I'm stressed about what I'll be doing in the fall, I worry that my PDM doesn't want me around, I worry that I'm not getting enough time to write, I feel anxious most of the time, I need a vacation but don't have the time to take one.
Tomorrow I'm going to the beach, to sit in the sand and read a book, to swim in the ocean, to feel the waves crash against me.
The good news is that I'm usually pretty good at recovering once it finally does it hit me. I'll pull myself out of this, start taking better care, try to keep my emotions under check until I am feeling better and start telling my support network how I feel so they can give me the support I need to feel better. This won't last long.